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  • Giulio Cavallo


The male perspective

man with long hair leaning against tree looking upward, girl with long hair and umbrella lying downing background


Sex is natural.

Sex is quintessential.

Sex is at the essence of human life.

Sex is the only human endeavour that can use all the five senses at the same time.

Sex is universal, available to every human. It has the same importance as breathing, eating and sleeping from the individual perspective of survival and reproduction.

It is as fundamental as language, to interact with others.

It can create the highest forms of pleasure.

It can in fact be the highest form of communication.


Yet, the reality of our sexuality today is dramatically opposite to its relevance.

We don’t talk about it:

People rarely and hardly exchange feelings and thoughts about their own sexuality.

In our personal relationships it’s extremely difficult to fully express to our partners the depths of our sexual emotions, feelings and instincts.

Among groups of male and females, the conversation would quickly derail into innuendos and laughter.

In media, sex is cornered into the meaningless minute of a movie; relegated to a scientific article at the bottom feed of a newspaper; or perverted to porn on the internet.

On social media it is almost absent.

Within institutions is banned.

We don’t inform.

Since early parental and social education, and then throughout the schooling system, the predominant attitude of adults is not to actively assist children and adolescents, to explore and discover a healthy sexuality and their connection with others; but to passively abstain from confrontation on such a taboo subject, or worse, deny and belittle it, avoiding it as a whole.

Science and health institutions and papers are only concerned with statistics, viruses, germs and diseases.

Media are only interested in the sensational and the violent.

Governments write laws mostly to prevent, limit and enforce.

Spiritual groups have turned it into a tool for 'awareness'.

Religious congregations demonise it.

We don’t make our own choices.

The prevalent attitude of a typical individual in this day and age is to follow the pattern that is presented to us from society as the 'normal' one.

A human being is born.

Sexuality is present, but unacknowledged, unspoken and hidden.

Around the ages of 7 to 12 the human discovers inside, a new preponderant force that permeates body, mind and soul.

Within strict or extremely strict boundaries, the human is forced to balance this powerful driving force against the limitations posed by indoctrination, education, religion, media, peer pressure and social consent, that are ever present.

Throughout adolescence into adulthood, every human finally has the opportunity to explore, experience and enjoy what sex truly is for themselves.

But the actual reality is that most humans can’t (and don’t).

In this world very few people are living in an environment where sexuality is a freedom.

So eventually, a human will comply with almost all the rest of the world, ignoring sexuality and substituting it with the right thing to do, which is to allow it only within an exclusive partnership and for the sacred purpose of reproduction.

Humans use various forms of denial to avoid confronting this problem: fear, ignorance, conformity, religious beliefs, obedience to laws, authorities and family to name a few.

From the unnatural and unhealthy separation between sex stimuli and 'proper' conduct, rise porn, perversion and violence. Our perception of the difference in what feels right and 'is' right is thwarted into a chaotic mess.

Most humans have not experienced free, sensual, bonding, sincere, open, trusting, playful sexuality.

A human dies.

The descendants repeat…

In most instances I noticed the same common denominators when it comes to understanding why sexuality is so twisted, manipulated and corrupted.

Our common sexual narrative today is about control and compete; not connect and explore.

We control instincts, manage impulses, repress needs, demonise pleasure and avoid communication.

Man controls woman. He competes to get as many women as possible and eventually the best one.

Woman controls man. She competes to get the best man to provide for her and the kids.

The result is that we actually believe or choose to believe that all of this is right !

Whether it’s scientific, governmental, spiritual, religious or educational; the obvious or underlying tone of the sex narrative is…control.

Mind or spirit have control over the body.

I say mind, spirit and body.

What I believe, see, feel; is true sexual freedom.

A human being free to experience, enjoy and co-create.

A human being responsible for the power of intentions.

A human being naked, exposing a complete open true self and the desire to connect with others...

Not only I would consider it the natural form of healthy living; but I think it would change everything.

We can choose control or freedom, and see what happens.


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